Throat on FiRe

My throat is on fire. I will say this, there are years that pass by that I do not use pain pills, I don't even use them after surgery. Here's why, when I was 17  I had hip surgery and my physical therapist said that if I start using Ib profien now or Tylenol now and use it regularly what will I use when I am older meaning in my 20's and 30's??? I have had a few surgeries since and so thankful to have not have used pain pills. I seem to have crazy not fun reactions to many pills that send me back to the hospital. Who wants to throw up so badly that you have to get IV's and pop stitches not me anymore lesson learned half my age ago. I will say this... my throat is on FiRe and last night I took a Tylenol. Tonight it seems to hurt even worse and I am dreading having to swallow them down because it feels like someone scraped the insides of my throat out and in its place put canker soars. The odd thing is it is my lower throat not the back of my throat like step. It hurts to breath. The doc said last night if I begin to swell to come in right away to give me steroids so that I can breathe. Ouch someone make me get up and get the Tylenol I can't take it anymore.

ha ha i love this

Okay okay....

We are busy with the holidays... and moving in. Dan and I bought each other a house for our birthdays. Our special days are only a few weeks from each other and we thought it would be fun to buy each other a house.

Oh and a dog on the same day...


The funny thing is that we were not even looking we did not think we would get a house for another few years like 4 since we adopt...

Very long story short. I went to an adoption conference in July. Met this cool girl jenn we sat at a table together at the closing dinner award ceremony and there also at the table was this couple that I just kept noticing....

I asked them what they did and they were Realtors. Out of the blue i have nooo idea where this came from but I said, oh my husband and I are looking for a house give me your card and I will give you a call....

A few months later I saw Jenn and she said, emily I found the perfect house for you... it was yellow, it had a lot of land and when she said that something inside me felt extremely peaceful. I recalled having dinner with Jenn and a few awesome other people and that great Realtor couple thinking that was so random that I had blurted out that we were looking when we weren't I don't even know where that came from or how it just popped out of my mouth.. but Jenn remembered and she really did find an awesome peace of property... we felt peaceful perusing it. Jenn you are awesome by the way...

A few months after that I felt like I had hit a major block, it was really bad hence the lack of posting. I dont know if it was all of the up and downs of adoption but I kept telling Dan that something had to budge.

I was bored one night... actually not really bored but just needed a break and I started looking at home dreaming of the home that someday we would buy.

I randomly found that Realtor couple's card, Im not kidding it litterally fell into my hand. I was cleaning my dresser and there it was. So i got curious what houses were out there...

A very long story short... we went looking, called the Realtors looked at a few, felt discouraged after a week, a week I know I know, but something had to give!!!

I changed my search settings trying to find a house online and BOOM I saw this house.....


 It wasn't what I had expected but I just knew I needed to see it. I called the Realtor late Friday evening and emailed him and said hey Steve I really need to see this house tomorrow. I just knew I needed to see it. He said he would try to get us in with less than a 24 hour notice. We saw the house 4 weeks ago on a Saturday, told them that we would make and offer that day. Made an offer on Monday counter offered, offered again and was accepted in six hours. We had our inspection a week to the day we saw the house and a week and a half later we had the keys. Now I have never bought a home before but I am assuming that was pretty crazy fast. From the day  we first saw it to the day we had the keys was 2 and a half weeks, we moved in the next Saturday, both our cars were in the shop got them back and picked up Louie, our toy poodle, all a long we were going to buy a great dane I am not sure how a poodle happened it just did.

Its been crazy to say the least but nice to be busy and we are oh so thankful!!!

Of all things Thankful

Watch this it is soooooo worth your time, I cried the whole time!!

I Know....

I know we have been gone for a while! Things have been really well crazy and emotional.... some days I think I am doing really really well, then others I just seem to stub my toe a lot bump my elbow and fall apart. In June we were picked by a potential birth mom. ............ At the end of October she sent a text saying that she really wants to parent. When I received the text we were on our way to see Dawson's birth mom, her parents, siblings and extended family and friends for a very special occasion.  I collected myself after reading the text and I felt oddly peaceful. However as soon as I walked into the Temple.... I saw from a distance M's (Dawson's birth mom's)  family I felt really emotional. I sucked it up. Which I am terrible at doing. I will let you know how I am doing if you ask and I will be very open about it. Dawson's grandma looked at me and said," what's wrong", nothing.... "what's wrong".... nothing..... She stands up turns me around and "says tell me what is wrong.."  I didn't want to say anything on such a special day but I told her..... She was wonderful.... and sweet and kind and loving.

 I felt calm......

 It turned out to be such an amazing day to say the least. We are to blessed to have been able to be with M her husband and her family!! I felt very peaceful and calm the next few days it was wonderful to see M and her family and I replayed the event over and over in my mind, it was beautiful!!

One week later..... I received an email from the agency. Someone had tracked us down who had looked at our profile before we were chosen by potential #1. We had been taken offline because we were previously an  adoption pending. We were shocked to say the least to receive an email by a second potential birth mom because we had not republished our profile back online.

I had no idea how we even got her email as we were not online but she tracked us down. She was also due in January at the beginning of the month just as #1 was.

One week later we got another email from someone else. Also due at the beginning of January.

Each situation went  up and down and I seriously think due to the stress I started balding I am not kidding! Please someone validate this...


#1 continued to reaffirm that we were the couple if she choose to place but her caseworker shared that she really wanted to parent.

#2 contact went back and forth and finally we just found out that she will be placing with someone else ( i think we found out last week??? We also found out that #3 wouldn't work out... can I remind you all due within days of each other....

Then #1 started texted us again. I can't tell you how much we care for her! I want to see her reach for the stars and back and again over and over and see her reach her dreams and further than she ever thought possible! We have known her since she first contacted us soon after she found out that she was expecting. She is due to have a little girl in well... January. She's essentially weeks away.

Up until a few days ago I felt very confident in our support with #1. She is accomplishing so much and at such a very young age!

Well, the haters may hate but I have to say that we sent her a letter two days ago.... we took ourselves offline, we just need to catch our breath...

#1 and I have had many deep conversations and I know she looks up to us (well maybe not anymore, I have no idea....) we has asked my opinion, even on parenting. I even pointed out how everything could work out if she parented. I know about adoption. I go to high schools and present stats on single parenting. I am an adoptive mother and so grateful for that. It would not have been from my heart if I were to say..... adoption is the thing you should do. I couldn't do that not at all. Two months went by which leads us to two days ago....

Many of you may understand this. My sister is expecting a little girl in February. We both have boys 3 months apart. I have been totally fine with it no heart ache NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then as #2 and #3 fell though, Dan and I were both at peace we could put everything in its place....but then some other tough things happened.... and I felt like I hit some kind of ugly wall.

I did not feel like I had the courage to keep going with #1. Because she really wants to parent....and with everything that has been happening.... I got to that point I didn't think I would and that is that I could not keep going with #1. We have been to ultrasounds. We have talked and sent a lot and I mean a lot of text messages and so many deep things in life, but I have come to the realization that I felt that I could not keep going....

Through our conversations I know we have both valued each other's stance and feelings on things in life... and I felt that she needs to make this decision on her own... not with guilt that we will not have a baby fs she parents... not with guilt to place a baby so that we can have one... and especially no guilt if she places with someone else.  So I wrote her a goodbye letter. That initially, I have hit a wall that I DID NOT EXPECT TO HIT. We told our caseworker that we would be there till she decided what to do. But a few days ago for both Dan and I, we felt much peace in letting her go. Even after sending the letter my first initial thought was... what did i just do?? but In a millisecond I felt peace again. I have no idea why? Sometimes I wonder if the right family was not online and now they are... will she parent will she place with us or someone else. It doesn't matter. Not that we do not care, oh believe me... we care.

What I realized today is that I hope that as she has this time over the next few weeks before the baby is born that she will find her answer that she feels completely peace about. I know she has struggled with it lately and it makes sense why, this is not a thing we are talking about, it is a baby that kicks within her.

I can guess why and I can try to come up with reasons but the truth is I have no idea why it was time to say goodbye...

THE BEST ADOPTION POST EVER!

Even if you are not linked with adoption PLEASE read this.  This is the best explanation that I have ever read! Thanks Andee Leigh who wrote this! Here is the link to her site:

"Wish I had parented?"

Read this.. Sooo good!

READ ME

It's Christmas time!

Yesterday we ( I ) began to listen to Christmas music. I know, I know. It was still Halloween. Which we had an awesome Halloween! Dawson scored 2.8 pounds of candy. Regulation my friend regulation. We had candy for breakfast, then had a good portion of oat groats with cinnamon and banana's- YUM!

But if you are like me and you enjoy the Christmas season, I highly suggest the Josh Groban Holiday station on Pandora. 

Last year, since Halloween was on a Sunday, we did our trick or treating on Saturday. So...we put up our tree that Sunday, October 31st. I am not sure when we will get our tree up this year, soon, so very soon.

I feel like so much of the Christmas season is about commercialism. The gifts.... but its not about that at all. Yes! We still do gifts and enjoy it, but we really love starting the season early in our family because we have the  time to relish in what the holiday is really about, Christ, love and giving.  So to you our readers I wish you       Merry Christmas!!!

Me and Dan, we are team mates

I am so glad I have Dan by my side

Simplicity

Dan and I are doing major reorganizing our entire house!!! We have been redecorating, switching rooms around, our goal is to become more simplistic.

I have been reading a really awesome book

Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross

I love it! There are a few other's that I have been reading lately.  And organizing even more. I asked Dawson to put all the toys he wants to keep on his bed, and he did an AwEsOmE job! The rest we donated or.. we put in a storage bin for our future children. He still has many toys left, and super hero dress ups but it is to nice to organize all of his things.

 I usually enjoy organizing, but I have not gotten rid of a lot of stuff... I donate a lot but I have gotten down to the nitty gritty. And after reading the book I am pairing down even more. A week ago Dan and I had talked about getting and i pad or something, how nice would it be to organizing my grocery shopping, schedule and everything else.... but after reading this book I have decided to UN-PLUG!

Neither Dan or I have a Face book account and I have decided to text less and check email less. I rather see someone in person, or talk on the phone. In which we got a land line, using a cell as much as I have can not be good for my health.

Although we have our work cut out for us, it already has made things more relaxing, calm and peaceful. 

Me and Dan and our future selves ....together

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
E. M. Forster

"The very best thing for TJ"

ey

We won this book from Halene Petersen Dahlstrom on a giveaway. This is the best adoption book I have ever read! I can't explain why it is so great you just have to get a copy yourself and I highly suggest getting one for every child that you know that has been adopted. I know  that we will get a copy for the next birth mom/ Dad/ family that picks us. You can buy it on their website They also sell it on Amazon.com 


The neat thing about this book is that there are empty pages in the pack of the book that the child can journal about adoption. You can also write down their story and have their birth mom/ Dad? family write about their feelings of the child.


You are missing out if you do not have this book in your library an adoption has touched your life!


I want to thank Halene Petersen Dahlstrom  for giving us this book, it means so much to us. Thank you, Emily and family

Weekend Warriors

(Dan Here) This past weekend we did something great as a family. We played in the Mud! More specifically I ran a 5k Mud/Obstacle race with some buddies from work. I have always loved sports and played a lot basketball but I would never consider myself a runner, and in fact have never ran more than the 1 mile I was required to in 8th grade PE class.

But something about this race called out to me and so I trained the best I could for a few months and then gave it by best effort. Not only did I finish and have a great experience, but it was so fulfilling to physically push myself to do something like this, that Emily and I have decided to do the 10k version of the Dirty Dash when it comes to town in September.

Growing up I always had a desire for adventure, but my parents were not the outdoors type, so my adventures came vicariously through playing computer games or watching movies. Now in adulthood I have this great desire to go explore the outdoors and do fun things that challenge the mind, body and spirit.

Dawson saw some scuba divers on a cartoon and has been asking to go scuba diving. So tonight we drove over to the store and spent $2 to buy a mask and snorkel. We came home and after a little water safety talk from Emily, he jumped into the bath and started to put his head under the water and blow through the snorkel. We sat in the bathroom and watched him experience this little adventure for the first time and he loved it.

I decided tonight that I want to become a weekend warrior. I love business and I love wearing a suit. I like to walk into nice offices and negotiate deals with clients. I enjoy the work that I do. I would not want to be a park ranger or ski instructor full time.. However.. on the weekend I want to hang up my suit, pack our car full of water bottles and snacks and go out and explore the mountains around us, or drive down to Moab to do a hike (where I met and proposed to Emily). The euphoric feeling that I got from our family activity last weekend has stayed with me all week long and has me thirsting for more.

I think experiencing the outdoors and little adventures is a great way to spend quality time together as a family on a weekend or through a trip. Especially now days with all of the technology, it is so easy to get sidetracked by idle activities.

Emily and I think it is so important that we take the time to unplug the technology, and recharge our family through being Weekend Warriors. Be on the lookout for our upcoming adventures!

Romeo Romeo

Where art thou Romeo??

Today was a day, it was a good day! We talked to Dawson's Birth grandma who ate a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch just like we did two states away! Coincidence? I think not, we are family!

It's HOT all of the sudden we have gone from snow in June to above 90's, still in June. My air conditioning went out in our car and I just have not felt like going anywhere!

Ideally in the mornings I take a shower before Dawson wakes up...today he woke up right after me. In such a case I sometimes will wait until Dan comes home from work so that I can have a shower with out my super hero sidekick, after all even super hero's don't reveal their entire identity!

Evening was approaching and Dan was due to be home. I really kind of felt crummy after cleaning and doing other projects around the house. I really wanted a hot shower, I felt.... grimy!

I decided to take a shower really really fast and when I say fast, 15 minutes in my long shower! I had the feeling to close my front room window... but why? I have my clothes with me, I will change in the bathroom when I am done, it's perfect!

So here I am 2 seconds into my hot shower and momentary escape with soap in my hair and I hear... HI MOM!!! I look down and a little naked Dawson hops in.....uh.... Hi Dawson?! 

I told him to hop back out, I hadn't realized that the shower curtain had collected a ton of water....Swoosh!!  the floor was an instant swimming hole. I quickly threw my towel down mop up the water (which was my only towel in the bathroom). I quickly told Dawson to go get another one from the clean laundry upstairs. I told him there is a big red towel in a blue laundry basket in daddies office. 

He comes back down and hands me a hand towel :). I tell him to try one more time and tell him again where to find the big red beach towel ( because I know there will be more water to be mopped up).

While I am waiting for him to bring me the towel I finish rinsing out my sudsy hair and my privacy curtain falls from my bathroom window. Yes, this is over a 2x2 foot window. We have privacy glass but we have been told by neighbors that it conceals nothing! Nothing...

I have no choice but to rinse off  and pray no one sees me in the window!

I dry myself off with the hand towel...I couldn't put my dry clothes on sopping wet, have you ever tired that? I have it doesn't work and while I am about to prance my way down the hall into our bedroom,  I notice... my front room window is WIDE OPEN! Well if they didn't see it before they have seen it all now and I prance gracefully down the hall trying to conceal my self and I leap into my room where I know I have a clean towel ( yes my folded laundry piles are everywhere in fact today is laundry party day where we all work together to put it away, because sometimes I just do not get it all done, who does).

I dry off, ah I think to myself.. okay okay start all over again, it's going to be a great evening. Where are my clothes??? AH! I forgot to grab them on my way down the hall... I prance back down the hall into the bathroom and get dressed. 

Okay, Okay it's going to be a great evening, I can't wait till Dan comes home! I mop up the little wet foot prints from Dawson going back and forth trying to find the right towel. 

I feel the need to air out my feelings... I go into Dan's office, hello red towel!  I sit down and in a millisecond I think, Oh there is that water bottle I thought to take downstairs with me before I showered so Dawson doesn't ...oh too late, water everywhere.

Okay okay... get this out, Dan will come home, it's going to be great, wait no, I'm starting to feel a little frustrated......  WHACK!!!!

 the sound of a little Dawson on the hard floor, I thought I had cleaned up all the water but Dawson must have found a little bit of water on the Kitchen Floor and slipped on it! I race down the hall, while Dawson tries to make his way to me at the same time bloody lip and all

and with typing these last three words Dan just pulled up... 

Dan met us at the park

 Dan met us at the park! 

Dawson LOVES it when Dan pushes him on the swing, he always tells me when I push him, " higher , higher just like daddy does"    Dawson was watching the other kids while on the swing and yes his shoes are not on the right feet but he is getting better at that and he is animate that he do it all on his own so he does, and he corrects himself! We are very impressed his our boy!

This is how the night ended, he looks pretty fierce! We both have time with just Dawson, and we also have family time, it is something we feel is very important to do with all of our kids! We have our family time which includes dinner, reading the scriptures, talking together and having family prayers. (I read books in the day, and ) Dan reads books to Dawson in the night and he does some seriously funny voices. But all of that is after an nightly epic battle between the two of them!

How do I love thee

By small and simple things..video

    "Ordinary people who faithfully, diligently, and consistently do simple things that are right before God will bring forth extraordinary results." —Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles


I some how landed on this (watch this video) video, it is a short message that if you are a woman or know a woman listen to it!

I. AM. HERE.

Dr. Laura :: Letters :: Email of the Day - I. AM. HERE.

I'm a mother of 2 year old twins, and married to the man of my dreams. I love people, animals, have blonde hair, sing, dance and paint pictures. My life was in the hands of a 16 year old girl 33 years ago.

I've always been a bit awkward and self conscious, but recently I've realized I come from a hero. My mother is so brave, and so strong. I feel empowered by her unbelievable actions and I honor her daily by being the absolute best person I can be. She fought to let me live, and when I look at flowers, trees blowing in the wind, clouds, birds, people's faces...I am so grateful and I am so happy. I'm a part of this human race because she thought that my life was worth saving. Before she knew me. Before she saw my face. Before I had a name.

She was 16 and pregnant when she ran from the appointment room of an abortion clinic. As a result, she was kicked out of her house. Her 16 year old boyfriend was as scared as she was and eventually moved to another part of the country. She was alone and homeless, yet she was selflessly preparing to do something she knew would hurt more than anything.

After I was born, a nurse placed me on my hero's chest. As we slept, someone sketched a picture of mother and daughter and gave it to her. Then, I was gone. She had looked through many applications, and had chosen a couple she would have liked to have had as parents. They had a home, the woman would quit her job to raise the baby, they had extended family and they had a lot of love.

After losing everything for this baby, she let go of the little being she had nurtured inside of her womb for 9 months. She could have clung to me and the romance of the idea of "we'll make it through together," but she wanted to give me a real life, and a great chance in life. This has been extremely valuable to me. At 16, she knew a two parent family was best.

She lived with foster families until she was of age, and never regained a proper relationship with those who would have had me dead. Her heart ached for the loss of her baby, but she has made a life for herself and is very loved by the children she went on to have.

And I look at my fingers as I type, and I feel my tears running down my cheeks and I see photos of people I love hanging on the wall beside me. I am so thankful and I just don't know how to put it into words because I. AM. HERE.

My birth mother is the most heroic person I know, and when I think about it, every birth mother who has given a child up for adoption is hero. These women need to be praised for what they have done. They stood up for us...lives who some say are not worth saving. They gave us to families who would love us...and with us lost a piece of their hearts. Who can do something so brave? Only a hero. Their private struggle has been so huge...they need to be lifted up.

And, to my Birth Mother I say: "I don't know how to say thank you. I just don't....But I am here. I am here. I will make my life, this gift, your suffering count. You will see, I was worth it."

Thanks Dr. Laura.

L.

Did you get a red cape?

Dawson asked me to make a red cape for one of his " guys" it then turned into three capes, and more...
                            (by the way spider man doesn't need a cape, he throws spiderwebs to be able to  fly).

Is it just me or are they smiling? 

When we tell people we are hoping to adopt or have adopted sometimes, they say, " oh good for you.." When I hear this I cringe. 

Some people think we are super hero's for adopting.          We are not the super hero's! 

Those who choose to place their child, are the real super hero's. 

It is not about creating a family for an adoptive couple, its about the parent's of this child and their choice.

 They are the real deal, THE SUPER HERO!! 

They deserve honor and praise.

Sometimes after choosing something heroic..

An epic battle appears and people can say mean things..

The dynamics of friends and family can change,  based on maybe what they can see? Their opinion!

Uniquely are the shoes we wear in this life, it is not anyone's right to judge, but ONE who  LOVES us as His own.

Whenever you are in the presence of a parent weather they have placed a child or not, they deserve 

Love.  Respect. Honor.

On Mother's Day

On this very special day, I hold very sacred, I just want to wish everyone a happy day! And to Dawson's M*  you are cherished most of all! I wish you could see this! We love you!

A wake up story, please share, thank you...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE HAVING A LITTLE BOY IN MY LIFE!

I Love having a little boy in my life and I hope that we have more of them they WONDERFUL!!

There is something about a boy that is so special, I do not know what it is, maybe constant curiosity, sense of adventure, willingness to be BRAVE, win the girl, have a tender spot (they all have one young or old). Be the captain, superhero, concrete thinker.... I love having a little boy!!!!

There is so much more to it then that! But What I can say is this!

  

 I am one grateful momma!

Birth mom Buds

www.birthmombuds.com and blog www.birthmom-buds.blogspot.com  are really good websites! They list so many resources for support and asking questions about being a birth mom. They have forums, they have so many things to offer, check them out! They even help you make a hospital plan which is so important.

Scholarships 4 birth mothers NEEDS YOUR HELP

Scholarships 4 Birth mothers needs your help!!!

They are running an auction check it our HERE

Here is a statement from their site:

WHAT WE ARE ABOUT!!

This is a non-profit organizations started just for birthmoms!!
At the beginning of every semester we will accept applications for the available scholarships.

The scholarships are exclusively for girls who have placed their babies for adoption.

All the funds can be donated to our fund at the bank and can be made by businesses or individuals. Even if only 100 people donated 20 dollars each that is 2 x 1000 dollar scholarships.

Everyone who donates will have their name and a link to their site or information or it can be done anonymously.

For more information email
birthmothers4adoption@gmail.com

Sometimes I Eat Ants.....

Disclaimer: we are for the humanity and safety of all creatures, except for spiders


Sscrrape....


Dawson came into the kitchen the other day and said, "Mom sometimes I eat ants..." I thought maybe this was an imaginary thing???

As I looked into the situation deeper, I learned he really did have an ant in his mouth, it looked like a crumpled cake crumb.

You would not believe the things this kid says. In addition to being a little intellectual, he says some seriously funny things.

The other day he said, "Mom you can't have dairy right?"  RIGHT! Then he said, " but sometimes you eat diarrhea."

Thought provoking...

We had a fun packed weekend. One of the best parts was spending time with my brothers little girl. She is almost 18 months old and really really cute. Dawson had a lot of fun playing with her until late in the night. Her parents had to go to a play for school and so my mom (Grammy) watched her. My family, Dan, Dawson and myself slept at my moms house so we had all this fun time with this sweet little girl. She and Dawson had so much fun together.

My brother and his wife are expected a baby boy this FRIDAY! It got me thinking, talking to her about pregnancy and everything else, what a miracle the process is, how babies go through this whole growth period and just the process of their birth. It really made me feel fortunate to have Dawson. I feel grateful that after the entire miracle of carrying a baby, birthing a baby, that through M*  we were able to receive him through adoption. This whole process for one life. It really makes me feel that the Lord knows all. Although I experience times where I feel that I am lacking some hope. I can not help be in AWE of how life comes about and HOW GRATEFUL we are to have been chosen to be his parents by his birth mom.

I call him, my CHRISTMAS PRESENT because, to me everyday is a gift, he is a gift, not only ours but he is a blessing to so many and I hope that he will touch many many lives down his road. I am GRATEFUL for THIS LIFE, all that The Lord has blessed us with.

There have been so many times we have struggles, feeling like we can't breathe, and all the while I KNOW were being watched over, even though we FELT like we were treading above water.

M* ( although I know you won't be able to read this) we are thankful for you, for being on a journey and making us a part of it. As I know of some, I imagine all the while you were treading your own water, thank you on the behalf of Dawson. For strength and courage AND for CHOOSING LIFE!

Making lemonade out of noth'n at all...

You know when someone tires to cheer you up by saying something about, " making lemon's  out of lemonade"? Sometimes that is the WORST thing to hear. Sometimes I don't want my situation compared to anyone else. It doesn't seem to help when someone tells you, you don't have it as bad as someone else. Sometimes I just want someone to say...  you know that would be hard.... and lend some validation!Why does that not happen?

 Why do people try to solve issues when the solver has not ever gone through it and seem to think that if you do A, B &C for sure you will achieve a specific result!

Why can't I just sometimes have a hard time, a rainstorm of my OWN and let it blow over without someone stepping in?  It seems like when we are in pain or struggling with something, people try to bandage it up!

Sometimes its good for things to air out a bit before you go and cover it up with a bandage. Neosporin, go for it but you don't have to cover up.

A rainstorm and some wind can be helpful and sometimes that is all that is needed to clear out an inversion.

Sometimes its hard to hope for children that you don't know when they are coming, whether its by infertility treatments or for us, adoption.

I'm having a hard time hearing Dawson pray for siblings and I can't provide that for him in the conventional way of carrying a baby.

The thing is, when people get pregnant it is like they are treated as if they are a super hero, because they created a baby (which is great but that's not what I am talking about), when you have infertility issues people try to solve your issues, you hear all about how to get pregnant.... my sisters aunts cousin did this and got pregnant. Because I don't carry a baby it does not make me, Emily broken, it does not define me. It means, I don't carry babies in my womb it means I have had miscarriages, it means my body doesn't carry babies successfully but it does not take away my ability to be a mother.

Please don't feel bad for me, don't try to solve something that is Right just as it is. And when my rainstorms come because we HOPE for another CHILD, pray for us. Share hope with us, advocate on our behalf and let other's know about the ABSOLUTE JOY we have THROUGH OPEN ADOPTION.

 It is a way to add to a Family, our family and you don't just add that little baby or child, you hope to add an entire family. And that family feels like family you have never had and wonder how you lived so long with out being a part of them. So don't pity those that adopt, we are loved beyond measure and our hearts are full with gratitude for the gift we have and the family we have gained ( whether it be the baby/ child or an entire other family).

So the next time you are near someone who may not have children ( or anyone who is struggling with something) CHANCES are you have not experienced what they have, and although  you may have good intentions, if you have not gone through infertility yourself, please don't send out unsolicited advice, and if you have not adopted or love someone who has adopted don't try to solve it.

Sometimes I do need to look at a situation and be glad in it but really I do know how to make lemonade and I will when I am right and ready but sometimes, please if a storm is coming in, be there for me or anyone else who may have storms of their own. And most importantly do not judge that women that chooses adoption for her child, she has more wisdom then most. Read.here this is a really good post written by a birth mom Jessa.  And then just as important read here  And if you want join us for this...click here and let me know!